Today I sat down at my computer and started writing my first blog post in almost 2 years. It was a mind-numbing experience - that at times felt wonderful and at times felt mournful. I cried and smiled all at the same time. Why had it taken so long? Why was today the day to start?
Why start is probably easier to answer if we start with why did I stop. You see. I stopped because
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I had years of content that had never been released.
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I had so much video and spoken content, why bother writing. But like many of you out there, it was number 3 that held the cards to the real reason.
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I felt like I had nothing else to say -- Nothing new to add to the dialogue.
While I had not written for 2 years the genesis of my silence started 4 years ago. The country had come off an incredibly divided election. An upset. An election that made me question if my ear was to the ground. If I still heard the voice of creativity in the air.
Over the past year, the trifecta of trouble, as Pastor Joel Gregory describes it, of social unrest, pandemic, and mental instability, caused me to run into a creative desert. How could I write and create when the world was crying. How could I find that center that inspiration when I had to put my company and family into survival mode?
So what changed? Several Things
My Mindset
Over the past month I have had a chance to detox -- Not only detox my body - but detox my mind. I realized that one of the worst things I could do was internalize the external. What do I mean? Many things in the world are great for your external body but not great for your internal body. Rubbing Alcohol comes to mind. While great for topical relief. It is deadly if ingested. The same goes for your business or your mind. Some things are great for the external but are deadly if they get internalized.
Mute the Noise
Over my desk sits a poster made by my BLKHustle.com company, that simply states -- MUTE THE NOISE. It is a constant reminder to tune out the distractions of the world. I had to learn to not mute the noise of the world -- but to mute the noise of my mind (a much harder task). I had to mute analysis paralysis, perfectstination (procrastination masquerading as perfectionism), and more importantly -- imposter syndrome.
I had to tell myself -- I am good enough -- I am good at what I do, not because I am an imposter, but because I have put in the work to become efficient and effective in my work.
Calm the Fear Within
In my book, Calming the Fear Within, I outline a series of steps a person must do to overcome fear. One of the points is to recognize the fear and name it. Well, my fear was scarcity. Normally that scarcity is financial. But, this time around, the fear of scarcity was, Do I have enough to give my all? Do I have enough fire left in me to cause the atmosphere around me to boil? The whispers to myself were no.
But the reality is yes. I still have it. My creativity, my fire, my passion has not left me. Very much like a muscle, because I did not use it, it was becoming atrophied. The worst thing about fear - is we often create that which we fear most. Because of my fear of scarcity, I created a place of scarcity. When I changed my mindset -- I realized -- what I have is in abundance. And here is the key, you can’t have a harvest unless you plant.
So on today, I write -- I plant the seeds that fuel my destiny. I write -- I water the seeds of my creativity -- I write because now I plan to see the harvest of my labors.
My mindset is changed
The noise is muted, and,
My fear is calmed.
I AM WRITING AGAIN!