Good morning,

Can I be transparent with you?

This morning I almost gave up and quit planting this church. I am sure many of you have been in the same position in life on many occasions. I mean, donations and finances haven't been going well. Attendance has been minimal. The attacks on my company and family have been excruciating, to say the least.

So i found myself in a position of absolute desperation and depression.

I really was at my wit's end. I thought to myself did I really miss God on this? Why isn't he talking to me? Why aren't the funds coming? How can we have a church, if there is no money and no people? Are you sure you called the right person to lead this movement?

Several times I was tempted to get on the phone and call my pastors and tell them I am finished, I am going to back to running my company full time or even going back to the legal field where I could at least get an advance or something. But I couldn't pick up the phone. I still heard a small voice saying you can make it. (who said God had stopped talking).

This morning After dropping my wife off at her early appointment, I wanted to listen to the new Beyonce album (imagine that a pastor who likes Beyonce - lol) her song "Love on Top" - just kept playing in my head. As I waited for my playlist to update on my iPod - I played a podcast from Perry Noble. WOW did it minister to me. (if you are not podcasting -please see us). Here are a couple of things God said through Perry.

Strategy over Spirit Sucks
If God has declared it, you don't have to pray about it. Just do it! ( going to preach that one day)

If you can accomplish your Vision without God's provision, He may not be in the mix.

Listen to God and Do What He Says
God never calls us to do things that are easy.
If you are following God it is always going to be risky. You are always going to feel like your back is to the wall.

God Never Called You to Play It Safe.

Some of you know - I am a Big Thinker - a Big Dreamer, but a slow doer. My style is to pray about it, plan it, strategize it, then hold it in so long that the urge to do it goes away. (Just being honest). I often suffer from analysis paralysis. Which I now know is a complex to be perfect and a fear of failure.

This church is a major undertaking and I am seeing that some of my old habits are creeping in. I have for the past few months been slowly putting this movement together. Being very careful. Perhaps overly careful. Not because God told me to, but because I was afraid of getting it wrong.

A good friend of mine gave me great advice the other day. He said

"Get out of the way and let God Do what He wants to do. (here is the key point)
You Just Agree."

So I realized, over this week God had been speaking. LOUDLY. It wasn't that He wasn't doing enough. I wasn't doing enough.  In fact, I was playing it too safe. God doesn't bless fear. I was called to do radical things, which requires doing radical things. Let me take that back. It requires just Doing What He Says.
BIG DREAMS REQUIRE BIG ACTIONS

God is Bigger than any mistake You can Make.

These words have set me free. I am turning in my fear membership, my desire to be perfect, and my procrastination card. We are turning up the fire. If we sink we sink Big. If we succeed we succeed Big. In all of it, God will get the Glory. YOU DOWN.

Here is what we need and what you can do:
Prayer and more Prayer
Do whatever God or your gut is telling you to Do. And Do it BIG. Stop Waiting for Perfect.
Point me back to this post the next time I get depressed and want to quit (PLEASE)

READY - SET - GO
J. Richard Byrd

ps. I didn't let my wife proofread this - so all the grammatical and spelling errors are purely my own.