Forgetting Your Ex and Moving Forward

Phl 3:10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,
Phl 3:11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
Phl 3:12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.
Phl 3:13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
Phl 3:14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

The Past

One of the hardest things to do in the Christian world in fact in the world in general is to get over your past.  Like a herald that covers you. It keeps getting in the way. In fact if we all be truthful we would acknowledge that it is our past that controls our present and prevents our future.

I submit that the reason is based on the fact that the past is the foundation that has been laid for our present.  The very steps that I stand on are based and rooted in my past.

My son has been studying psychology for that few weeks. One of the fundamental principles. Is that our behavior in most cases is a by-product of our past.In other words we act the way we act because of something that has happened in our past. We interpret our situations based on the way we have been taught by our past to see things. For most of us it is much easier to comprehend things once they have been done and now are a part of our past.

The duality of your past is a jaded space. In one arena that trauma of bad things have jaded you in such a way that it is hard to move on. I understand the hurt inflicted by your parents, the rape you endured, the betrayal of your friends have inflicted a scar that by most accounts will never be repaired. I am not discounting those facts, but I also offer another piece  to the puzzle.

The simply fact that you have made it through with a little of your mind and sense and you are not dead., already points to the awesomeness of the grace of God that controls your future.  Let me break it down. my past dictates that what has happened to me is traumatic. and by all accounts it was meant to destroy. But somewhere during the transition from past to present there I find the grace of God.

Dorinda Clark Cole wrote a song that simply states.

When I look back over my life
and I see all the things God's done for me;
been through dangers, heartache, and trouble,
I thank the Lord, He rescued me.
I could have been dead and gone,
but the Lord he spared my life.
Now I can say, that I'm still here
and it's by the grace of God.
So you see very clearly that the transition from the past to the present is firmly built on the grace of God.

In our story we find that Paul is having a conversation with the Philippians.  PAUL SPEAKS OF HIS PERSONAL LIFE BEFORE MEETING JESUS CHRIST. HE WAS CARRYING AROUND A LOT OF EXTRA BAGGAGE, THINGS THAT HE WAS ONCE PROUD OF, BUT ONCE COMING TO THE KNOWLEDGE OF JESUS CHRIST WAS HAPPY TO LET THEM GO.

    1. Acknowledge those things in your past -
      A. There is a certain value in looking back.
      1. One is to see what God has done. The children of Israel were constantly being reminded of how God delivered their fathers from the bondage of Egypt. This was the purpose of the Passover feast.
      a. Knowing what God has done in the past through His mighty power, gives me confidence to know that He is the same, and He is able to deliver today.
      2. The second value in looking back is to show me how far I have slipped away from Him.
      a. In Hebrews we are exhorted to take the more earnest heed to the things that we have heard, lest at any time we should drift away.
      b. The process of backsliding is often very slow and imperceptible, you do not realize how far you have drifted until you look back and realize that you cannot even see the dock any longer.
      c. To the church of Ephesus Jesus said, "I have this against you in that you have left your first love. Remember from whence you have fallen, and repent."
      3. The third value is you can now - Face your demons and mistakes. Acknowledge them, confront them, and work them out.
      C. Deal - there is a certain feeling for being able to overcome the obstacles that have plagued your life for so long. I had a teacher that etched on the blackboard at school the words DEAL. It was simple but powerful. DEAL. Whatever issues you have. Be they musical, life, or love. DEAL WITH IT. I am not saying it to be harsh. but until you face your past - put whatever pieces you need to put in place -it will be hard to get into your present.
    2. Forget those things which are behind.
      We have had great discussion on how priceless the past can be for us. There are many quotations. Many people say I forgive you but I won't forget" Those that forget the past are doomed to relive it. and even the Bible is quoted ""
      a. the one thing you must understand in this scripture is that forget doesn't mean - don't remember what has happened. In this scripture the greek word for forget is epilanthanomai (e-pē-län-thä'-no-mī) which roughly translated means not giving a significance to.
      b.  In other words. I acknowledge that all of things have happened to me. but I have learned from them and here is the key. i am not going to give it significance to it in my life. I am no longer let the past cloud my decision making process. I am not longer going to allow the past to dictate my feelings.
      c. Another meaning of forgetful in this scripture - is to give it over to oblivion ie. to be uncared for. I am no longer going to care for the past. I am no longer going to put energy into keeping my past alive. Baby it is time to Forgive -
    3. Press Forward.
      Although my past is important it is not as important as my future. In the past we have witnessed God Grace In the presence we see God's Goodness and Mercy. in the future we expect and rely on God's Promise. In pressing I realize that my past is just that my past. When you are in a car and you pass and object - you may have a recollection of it but you have passed it. Watch - I know it was there because i saw it. I lived it, I was there. but it is not happening now because I have passed it.
      b. No one can go forward looking backwards. --- if you are pressing going forward - you don't have time or can't afford to look back. because if you you just might stumble.
      c. One of the things I hated most about scary movies is that inevitably there would be a scene where a young lady would be running from the monster - at some point they would look over there shoulder to see where the monster was. at that time they would stumble and fall and be caught. What I am saying to you is your past is a monster that has been chasing you for most of your life. In fact is will always chase you. but if you look back and dwell on it - you will inevitably find yourself always falling and being drug back to the place of your monster.
      d. in this case your best bet is to continually press forward

CLOSING
2Chronicles 5:17  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

One day a caterpillar smelled the winter approaching he moved on to a branch. prickers, predators, and the elements stood in his way but he press forward. As he reached the top of his destination he hung himself upside down. and began to wrap himself in a caccoon. As the the storms of winter beat on him he remained safe because of the cocoon. But one day the spring arrived and the caterpillar began emerge, but this time when he emerged he had been transformed in to a new creature. A beautiful butterfly.
You were like that caterpillar - in your past you had to fight your way up the branches and withstand the predators. But when you met Jesus he wrapped you in his arms like a cocoon and because of this you were able to withstand the storms of the winter. and when he had finished with you in that stage you emerged a new creature.  Where you one had just a body and no arms you now have wings.

If you look at the difference between the caterpillar they are a lot of similarities and differences. The body is the same. I would imagine the brain and internal organs are the same. But where there were just some legs. There are now wings. More importantly - where the caterpillar could only walk. The butterfly can fly over. With Jesus your past is now on the ground and you can fly over it.